I care too much. I know that about me. Interactions with people, words exchanged, people's perspectives and wanting to fix things for others has always been a part of me. Recently, I have experienced many things that have shaken my foundation of people around me and I continue to believe that I care too much. That is why the article today caught my eye - "What Happens When You Don't Care."
The article on not caring brought a different perspective that I can relate to many of the points made. When you don't care about the outcome or you are not attached to the outcome of a conversation or a meeting, you don't have an agenda and it is extremely freeing. Other bits of gold I took from reading this article - Do only what you love. The universe doesn't care - it has gone on for 3.8 billion years and you and what you do are not going to change the universe. Why me? Why not? I have made and lost a ton of money but money means zero. You can always make more. Minutes are what matters. Focus on slicing great moments into separate delicacies. Under promise and over deliver is a lie of losers. Over promise and over deliver. When you don't care, you listen more and speak less. Throw out junk words - the weather is great today. Do only the things you love during your peak hours. Below is a portion of the article on things that will happen when you begin to not care.
YOU LOSE FRIENDS AND FAMILY
Your friends and family want you to care about what they care about. And that’s about it. They want you to be a copy of their dreams about you.
And if you don’t, they often try to force you, or they distance themselves from you. Or, worse, they hate you.
But another good thing happens. You are the average of the five people you spend time with.
So it ends up: good people will find a way to spend time with me. Because they follow that advice also.
So it’s not that hard to find the “right five”. Or ten.
When we were born we didn’t choose our family and often we don’t even choose our initial friends.
But eventually, you do.
The points here were hard to read but it did resonate for me because I am in the middle of an extremely difficult time with family and friends. I have been caught off-guard by the anger, frustration, bitterness and emotions based on my choice to leave. This week I had a conversation with a family member where in two distinct points were completely misunderstood and I am taken back by the conclusions drawn. First, that I have had a plan and I was slowly working a plan to leave and lying to everyone for well over a year. Absolutely inaccurate. Secondly, that in a letter I wrote that I was trying to be controlling and make everyone feel guilty. Again, this conclusion was far from the intent as I believe I did everything I could to take the high road and put my needs aside and think about the other people first. I have been told over and over, they need time to digest my decision. I continue to reach out over the past nearly 3 months and get less than the minimum you would provide a stranger back. My patience is running thin.