The words came frequently and rolled off my tongue; "everything is for sale". We are in the process of liquidating our home and everything it took to manage 45 acres, 100 mature apple trees, an acre vineyard, an acre pond, 5 buildings, a 1,200 square foot raised be garden and the acres and acres of timber, wildflowers, and weeds to go with it.
This weekend was emotionally draining. The cascade of selling and negotiating your personal life away started when I listed and sold the crown jewel of the place my John Deere with 120 hours on it 2 hours after I listed it on Craig's List. Then began strangers going through your house looking in every corner for a cheap prize. Opening cupboards and closets to see what hid behind them. In 10 days we sold $50,000 of personal belongings collected over 15 years at pennies on the dollar. My emotions roller coasted as teams of people emptied rooms and filled trailers parked everywhere in my yard. The final straw came as a neighbor wanted to talk me down on $6,000 worth of wool rugs that she bought for $300. No more negotiating. Here is my price. If you don't want it, I will burn it.
This morning I took my Monday morning walk. Alone with thoughts to myself, tears were in my eyes as I walked the familiar paths. On a cool summer morning with temps in the high 50s and a breeze, it was refreshing to feel my pent up emotions release on each breath. I had my camera in hand and went to my favorite spots. I cast a fishing line out of the pond that was smoking for air temperature and water differences. I did not get a bite and that was not the point. I know as I walk these paths my times to lose this opportunity is fading away.
I need the time alone. My phone is lighting up with Monday calls and business activity as well as well as people asking if this piece of my life is still available. I don't want to talk to anyone right now. I am here with my thoughts and feelings. The reality of leaving this place is getting to me. Several times I heard my wife crying this weekend. I know. I feel the same.
So my focus is on the next 26 days. Getting this done, cleaned up, and walk away to a new life, a new chapter. What is on the other side is pushed back until I can get this completed and I leave with the entire package wrapped up and delivered to the new owners. I want to leave at the top of our stride, things in place and them in awe of their new home. They will figure it out. I still have two hours to take them around and show them where everything is and how it works. This time was written into the contract and I will be black and white - this is how it works, where the turn offs are, and what else do you want to know. If they want the history, I will tell them the 15 years of what I know and what I learned from the previous owners. I will do my best to keep emotions out of it.
So I walk into another week of leaving everything I know behind us. I know the emotions will run hard these next few weeks. I am preparing for that day.