My Life As I Know It: February 2012 posts

The roller coaster of life is at a high point for me right now with a few exceptions. It amazes me how my outlook is so impacted by how things roll at work. Being more even keeled would be better than high highs and the drag of the lows. It has been a great week but now I go on the road for 14 days straight. I will not be home for 24-hours until February 25. Don't shed too many tears - 7 days straight in Ft Myers so life could be worse.

Not a day goes by when I don't say man I am blessed. I am running in the top four executives in our company of 10,000 employees. I fly private planes, direct critical projects, develop the material and present the material for our board meetings, and party with the CEO and President on the Boston Whaler sailing from their second homes in Ft. Myers. It is pretty heady but I realize how fragile things are in business today. If you have a bad year, you may not see the second one.

When life at work is good, many times, life at home is good. Kim and I are doing well, Cole is coming over today with Kolin to cook gumbo and have a few libations, Tara seems well and is deciding on an option to move to China, Jake is in his second semester at Loras and trying to prove he deserves to be there, and Z has been accepted into the science program at Iowa State. My parents are doing well passing 85 and 87 this past month, Kim's parents are on an extended trip down south. Things are good.

At the same time we hear the stories that take you back ... Razor Ray cutting my hair one October day and the next week his has a brain tumor removed and has an aggressive form of cancer. Life expectation - 3 months. Every day someone is fighting a struggle for their lives and we sit here wondering what bottle of wine we should open. I know it could end in a flash. Do you savor or fear?

I am learning to be me more than I ever knew. Why I wanted to impress people I did not know and will never see again, is difficult to explain. I am getting more comfortable in my own skin and, that alone, makes things trend so much better. I wish I could have understood this in my 30s - I would be in a different place today.

I see the clouds of age creeping in. While my energy level seldom slows, the mirror tells a different story. I watch my weight, I hear voices telling me to exercise more and eat healthier, I juice and pump vitamins daily, while worrying about not flossing my teeth yesterday. It cracks me up yet reels me in. Looking at old pictures brings tears to my eyes and great songs make me want to dance. I am passionate. I am vocal. I am energized. How much longer will we go down this road before it changes? I can't answer that. Honestly, I am not driving the bus, However, at this point, I am enjoying the ride.