It just feels different. Perhaps it is the time of year and turning the calendar to 2024. Maybe it the depth of my thoughts or the process of aging. While I am in a good place mentally, there is still much to consider. This past year I have made measurable progress in the areas of relationships, travel and having fun, increase my time reading, and most importantly I have stood in the moment more than any other year of my life.
I have taken in my Dad's smile on his 96th birthday as the grand children visited. I have had deep talks with my Dad on our memories and the strength of our relationship. He said straight out to me whether I learned more from him or he learned more from me in our life together. I thanked God many times for the time and days I had with my Father. I watched him struggle. I heard him condemn living this long. I listened to his desire to be with my Mom, his Mom, my brother, and his brother. I helped him get dressed and felt the difficulty of simple acts - getting up out of a chair, putting his pants on, pulling on a shirt while he was in a wheel chair, and his lack of clarity in many situations. Looking in his blue eyes I still saw life and the desire to not give up.
I stood numerous times this year at the end of my dock in Northern Wisconsin and took in the beauty of God and the fresh air. I watch day break more times than I can remember from the point. I was amazed when otters swam within inches of me their air bubbles marking the progress of their underwater hunt. I stood at the end of that dock and took in the changes we made in landscaping and a new addition finally materializing in front of my eyes. I stood in awe. I stood in reverence. I expressed gratitude for being in that place at that moment.
I had so many times during our trip to Italy to absorb the place, the sounds, the beauty, and the smells. The moments shook me to the core. Italy in a place to take in the entire experience and recognize and appreciate the differences. Our time there was nothing short of amazing. I want to adopt more of that lifestyle - the appreciation of fresh, high quality food. The perfect mix of time, temperature, and quality product that comes together and taste so amazingly different. Their simplicity of life - the focus on quality versus speed.
I look over the past year and my life's path in amazement, wonder, and a feeling of both satisfaction, the desire to improve, and my want to experience more envelops me. I have never been good at slowing down but each day brings more times I pull off the accelerator, set the cruise control at the speed limit to arrive a little later but happier.
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